


RAMIREZ !!

by A1netty



Category: Call of Duty
Genre: Annoying Allen, Annoying Foley, Blackouts, Friends how many of us have them :), Funny, Hurt/Comfort, NO DEATHS, Other, Pain, You pretty much know the rest, lots of humor, wounded warriors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-17
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-03 16:14:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11535825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/A1netty/pseuds/A1netty
Summary: Ramirez has a bad day due to the lack of sleep and the annoyance of his best friend Private Joseph Allen.





	1. Washington

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Howdy Hoes :) I'm back with another Fanfic. Yaaay. Anyways, I hope y'all enjoy my sense of humor and effort that I've been putting into these damn stories. Any ideas are good ideas. So If you have any questions or whatever just leave me a comment down belooow :)

Oh man, another boring day with Sgt. Foley and complain alot Cpl. Dunn. Not to mention my best friend Allen. He seriously urked every vessel in vain to where I could honestly feel the blood pumping throughout my head. Everytime he would say something ridiculous or just down right stupid, it made me wanna push him down a hill and say that he rolled about several times just so I wouldn't get in trouble with the Sarge. We gave him a nickname which was annoying Allen but many people would call him Captain America. Just when the day couldn't get any worse...

"RAMIREZ !!!

"What do you want ?

"Well a Good morning would be a start. Allen said smirking. Anyways, Foley and Dunn are waiting for us near the Humvee's. He said get your ass in gear Asap.

"Ugh. Why can't i just lay here instead ? 

"Come on man, they're not gonna wait around for us all day.

"Fine. Ramirez said throwing on his T-shirt.

We made our way over towards the Humvee's after stopping for a snack at the mess hall. Once we got there Foley and Dunn were arguing. ( As usual ) Foley would always say that it wasn't called arguing but that it was called a misunderstanding and so on. I guess everyone expresses things differently.

"All I'm saying is that maybe she's just not your type. Do you ever think about that Sarge ?

"Dunn. Shut the hell up and clean those mirrors.

"Hoorah.

"Ah, Ramirez !!

Damnnit !! They've seen us.

"Yes Sir.

"I see you haven't forgotten about what I had told you earlier.

"Nope. Ramirez said smirking. Not at all.

"Good.. well, now that your here. There's a few things that I need to go over. So pay attention. Foley said pulling out a map. Colonel Marshall's team is assembled near the Washington monument. Our orders are to extract the civilians to a safer location.

"Um, Sarge ? Allen said scratching his head.

"What is it ? 

"I know this might sound dumb. But how exactly are we going to exact the civilians when all the evac choppers are gone ? 

"Your right Allen. That was dumb.

"Allen ?

"Yeah ? 

"Are you sure you have any brain cells left in there ? 

Allen just shrugged as everyone else just laughed.

"Anyways. Foley said continuing. Those are our orders. If anything else comes up we'll hear it from General Shepherd. Let's gear up and get ready to move out.

"HOORAH !!

So there we were, in Washington DC. Working our way through the torn down streets, half bombed buildings and debris from exploded cars or tanks. Everything was going to shit and we were just about to get caught up in the mix.

"RAMIREZ !!! 

"Sarge !!

"QUIT DAYDREAMING AND TAKE OUT OF SOME THESE VEHICLES. MOVE !!!

"Yes Sir !!

"Dunn !!

No answer...

"DUNN !!

"Sarge ?

"Get on that radio and call in for an evac.

"Hoorah.

"ALLEN !! 

"Yeah ?

"Watch our six while we check out these rooms.

"Copy that.

"Dunn and Ramirez, you take left. I'll go right. Foley said bursting down the door.

"Clear !!

"Clear !!

"Everyone's gone. Dunn said walking around the table. You think they made it out Sarge ?

"I dunno. Foley said walking towards the window. The poor bastards knew that it was coming. So they had to think ahead. We need to keep moving.

"Hoorah.

"Dunn, you go. We've got your six.

"Roger that. Dunn said checking his corners. Sounds like friendly's.

"They could be held up in there Sarge.

"Alright. Do it.

Dunn quickly broke down the door before entering.

"COME OUT OR I'LL SHOOT !!

"DONT SHOOT !! the unknown voice said. I'm coming out.

"McCord ? Allen said lowering his weapon.

"Jesus McCord. Dunn said shaking his head. What the hell were you doing back there anyways ? I almost shot you.

"Well you know. The usual. He said smirking.

"Ya, okay sense of humor.

"Any word from Marshall ?

"No. I was sent up here to take down those damn snipers.

"Lucky you. Allen said smiling.

"Yeah if you guys would've taken any longer I'd probably be dead meat by now.

"Quiet !! Foley said scouting ahead. You guys hear that ? 

They all listened as the intercom spoke softly.

"Yeah, I heard it. Dunn said reloading his weapon. Sounds like the President is gonna blow up the white house.

"Yeah, and everything around it if we don't get the Fuck out of here. Ramirez said following them.

"Alright, let's keep moving. Dunn, any word on that evac ? 

"No. I'll keep trying Sarge.

"Alright. Let's move.

We fought our way through the quite streets of Washington D.C until we finally ran into Colonel Marshall. For some odd reason he wasn't very happy to see us. He looked so pissed and focused on the building in front of us. ( The White House ) he's always had a problem with our squad no matter what. We always remained the outcast in his eyes. No one really knew exactly why.. but it's whatever. Maybe it had something to do with rank. But who knows. Obviously he's lost more men then you ever could imagine. It honestly fucks with your head both mentally and physically. You start thinking will you be able to save the rest ? Or will they all just become another number ? You'd never know.

"What's the news Colonel ?

"We need to re-take the White House Sergeant. As you can see there's still power in there. Enough to get us all evacuated. I need you to get your men moving up the left flank.

"What about you Sir ?

"Don't worry about me. Once those goddamned snipers are taken care of we'll flank around into the White house. If we don't Re-take that fucking building soon we'll be dead men. Now GO !!

"Alright, you heard the man. MOVE !!

As the bullets ripped through the air we all managed to flank left of the white house where we eventually stacked up by the door.

"Ready ? Foley said tossing a frag grenade. GO !! 

"Clear !! Dunn shouted.

"Clear !! 

"Keep your eyes open.

"Aw man. Looks like we gotta do a breach and clear. Dunn said checking around the corner. I'll take McCord.

"Roger. Ramirez and Allen on me. Move out. Foley said going down the hall. Breach on my go. Go !!

"Clear !! Allen said searching the room.

"Nothing but empty boxes.

"Clear. McCord said making his way back towards the group.

"Wait. Did you guys hear that ?

"BOMB !!

"GET OUT NOW !! Foley said jumping out the windows.

The building came crashing down seconds later as the enemy reinforcements started heading towards our direction.

"Is everyone alright ? Foley asked looking around.

"Yeah, we're golden. Dunn said pushing a piece of debris from his leg.

"SHIT !! REINFORCEMENTS APPROACHING !!

"SUPPRESSING FIRE !! Foley shouted over the gunfire.

"SARGE !! THE EVACS ON IT'S WAY !! Dunn shouted as they continued laying down fire.

"HOLD THEM OFF !!

But something seemed off to me. I honestly didn't know what it was until I noticed that Allen was missing.

"Where's Allen ?

"Dammit Ramirez !! The evacs almost here. We have to hold off the reinforcements until they get here. Now get that weapon and start firing !! He shouted as the gun fire continued.

"But Sir..We can't just leave Allen behind !!

"RAMIREZ !! DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID ? DO WHAT I TOLD YOU !! THAT'S AN ORDER !!

"Fuck it.

I took running back into the downed building to find Allen. I completely went against Foley's orders but I just didn't care. Nobody gets left behind. Not even Allen. Of course he was a pain in the ass but he was still my best friend. I couldn't leave him behind or let him get killed. Not on my watch. So there I was searching the building so desperately to find him even calling out his name to where it had eventually echoed throughout the entire building. There was some kind of movement to my right so I steadied my weapon upon the dark space carefully before moving up to investigate. When I got closer I could hear my name being called.

"James.... the voice said as I neared the corner.

I turned to my right and seen Allen laying there covered in dirt and debris from the fallen building.

"Shit. I said rushing over to him. 

"Ramirez ?

"Hang in there man. You're going to be ok.

"I-I can't m-move.. he said breathing slowly.

"Don't worry man. I've got you. I'm not leaving you behind. I said throwing my weapon over my shoulder before picking up Allen and carrying him out of the building.

Thankfully the Convoy had just arrived so that we can get Allen the Fuck out of there.

"UGHHH !! ITS HURTS !! IT FUCKING HURTS !!

"ALLEN !! Hold still goddammit !! Dunn said holding down his legs.

Even though Allen was a smaller guy he had waay more strength then the both of them combined. It took at least all three of us to hold him down.

"Shit !! Dunn !! What do we do ? McCord said panicking.

"Just keep pressure on that wound Private. He said sticking a sedative into Allen's leg.

Allen was hurting pretty badly. He had a broken arm, a broken leg and a possible concussion to his forehead. The bruising to his sides were a mixture of purple and black which only made matters waay worse.

" GET HIM INSIDE NOW !! Foley yelled as the medics rolled Allen towards one of the rooms down the hall.

"MEDIC!!! I NEED A GODDAMN MEDIC NOW !! 

"AHH STOP !! IT HURTS !!! IT FUCKING HURTS !!

"Maybe that sedate didn't work.

"Relax Allen. Just relax.

"HOW CAN I RELAX WHEN MY FUCKING ARM IS BROKEN !!

"WHERE THE FUCK IS THAT MEDIC ? Foley said losing his patience.

"I DUNNO !! Dunn said applying pressure to Allen's wound.

"I'LL GET THE FUCKING MEDIC !! McCord said running out the room in frustration.

Ramirez just stood there watching them attend to Allen's wounds. The whole fucking world was moving to slowly around him. His head began to spin and his vision was quickly getting blurry. Was he dead ? He quickly touched the tip of his forehead when he felt something warm slide down the center of his face. Is that blood ? The inner voice asked again as he felt myself slipping into unconsciousness.

"Ramirez... the voice said from a distance.

"What the Fuck ?

"Ramirez ? There it goes again. Was someone really calling my name ? or was I dreaming ? I slowly opened my eyes when I felt someone slapping me across the face.

"Ow !! Quit it. I said squatting the hand away.

"How many fingers am I holding up private ?

"Uh..five ? 

"Yep. He's delusional all right.

"Alright. Someone needs to stay with him.

"Delusional ? I questioned as they both just stared. I'm completely fine Sarge.

"No your not Ramirez. Dunn said shaking his head. You passed out earlier from that fucking gash on the side of your forehead.

"Really ?

"Yes. Dunn said sighing.

"Shit...can I do it again ?

"You should probably get some rest Ramirez. I don't need you passing out again. Foley said smiling.

"But I'm not tired Sarge.

"You will be after those meds kick in.

" Sarge did Dunn poison me ? And where's Allen ? 

"No Dunn did not poison you and Allen's still unconscious. The doctors keeping a close eye on him. Foley said smiling. He'll be fine.

"General Shepherds on the line Sarge. McCord said walking in. He needs to speak with you Asap.

"Alright, you guys stay put. I'll be back later. Dunn, keep an eye on him.

"Hoorah.

"Damn James. You really fucked yourself up. McCord said walking around the table.

"Yeah yeah whatever.

"Does it hurt ?

"Ouch !! Knock that shit off.

McCord just couldn't help but laugh which made Ramirez laugh as well.

"Your a dick McCord.

"Relax Ramirez. It's not that bad. McCord said smiling.

"Yeah right. How can you be so sure ? I asked ignoring the smile on his face.

"It's just a scar man. You'll live.

"Thanks.

"So Dunn. You ever wonder what Shepherd has up his sleeve ? 

"Eh .. Shepherds full of shit. Sometimes I wonder if he's even a fucking human being.

"Well that counts for something. Just don't let the Sarge hear you saying that. Otherwise it's hardcore PT for your ass.

"Dunn Dunn Dunn.... Ramirez said joining McCord in laughter.

"You guys are annoying.

"Only because we love you.

"Yeah whatever.

"Alright Squad, listen up. Looks like we're heading to Moscow sooner than we thought. Foley said walking back in.

"What ? Shepherd changed his mind ?

"It wasn't easy Corporal. Shepherds a hard bastard to negotiate with. But we all have a job to do so let's get to it.

"Hoorah. Dunn said picking up his weapon.

"So what about me and Allen ? You're just gonna leave us here ?

"Allen's wounded. Dunn said breaking the silence.

"Yeah, James. He needs to heal up.

"Ok. But why can't I go ?

"Um let me see..Because you have a big ass gash on the side of your forehead.

"Yeah, do you seriously wanna pass out again ?

"No.

"Then stay..here. McCord said smiling before picking up his weapon.

Ramirez continued pouting because he really wanted to go but Dunn and McCord were acting like total dumbasses. That's until Foley walked towards him and placed a firm hand onto his shoulder.

" I need you to stay here with the medics. I can't risk taking you with us and getting yourself killed.

"Is that an order ? 

"YES !! McCord and Dunn both shouted.

"Sarge ?

"I'm sorry Ramirez. But your not coming with us.

"Fine.

"And I thought that I was stubborn. Dunn said checking his weapons.

"Let's go you two. Foley said walking out the door. Oh, and Ramirez ? 

"Sir ?

"Try not to give the Medics a hard time.

"Can't make any promises Sir. I said smiling.

"See Ya later James. McCord said closing the door.

"HAVE FUN WITHOUT ME !! I shouted as I felt myself drifting off to sleep.


	2. After Moscow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allen and Ramirez are finally healing from their recent injuries in Washington. While Dunn, McCord and Foley are finally back from their mission in Moscow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Foley's got a ton of New Recruits to train while Corporal Jake Dunn has a shit load of paperwork to do.
> 
> Anyways, Enjoy.

"JAMES !! Dunn yelled. Wake the Fuck up.

"Ugh. What do you want ?

"Get up and get dressed. We have a long day ahead of us so we might as well start early.

"Why today out of all days ? 

"Maybe because you've had to many off days.

"Ugh, why can't I sleep in ?

"Because no one gets to sleep in. Now get your ass up.

"But Dunn I'm tired.

"So am I but you don't hear me complaining.

"Ugh !!!

"Get up Ramirez. You better be dressed by the time I come back.

"Yes Sir. Ramirez said rolling his eyes.

"Hey James. You wanna play a game ?

"Allen, I just woke up and I'm extremely tired. I don't wanna play another one of your stupid ass board games.

"Fine. But you know what you need Ramirez ? He said smirking.

"No. Please enlighten me.

"You need some pussy dude.

"Like mad pussy. McCord said walking in on their conversation.

"Sure, are you guys offering ?

"Fuck you Ramirez. McCord said shaking his head.

"You wish. 

"Come on you guys. The Sarge is waiting for us. Allen said walking out of the tent.

"I hope it's not another mission.

"It's always about a fucking mission. We can never get a fucking break. Ramirez said shaking my head. Well I don't at least.

"Yeah yeah Whatever Ramirez. You get plenty of breaks.

"Really Allen ? Try getting your name called 24/7 to do unnecessary shit for the Sarge. Then ask me if I ever get a fucking break.

"Touche.

"He does have a point Allen.

"Whatever, let's just get this over with.

"HEY !! Where you guys going ?

"To the debriefing room. Allen said yelling back. You coming ? 

"Sadly yes. Dunn said walking towards them. But you won't find him there.

"And why the Fuck not ? Ramirez said getting irritated. Where is he ?

"Watch your mouth Private. He's at the pit training New recruits.

"We have recruits already ?

"Yep. Dunn said walking away. Let's go.

When we got towards the pit. Foley was giving a few speeches to the recruits before sending them in one by one to run the course.

"Good job private. Your time was 32.8 seconds. You've passed. Foley said smiling. Switch out with Montez.

"Yes Sir.

What a noob. Ramirez thought to himself.

"Alright private. Show me whatcha got. The goal is to complete the pit in under 30 seconds. Get to the gate and wait for my signal.

"Yes Sir.

Once the Private was near the gate Foley started the timer.

"GO GO GO !!! HIT THE TARGETS !! 

We watched as private Montez ran the pit. And honestly, the guy was already fucking up.

"He missed one.

"HIT THE TARGET !!

"Oooo right in the forehead. McCord said quietly.

"Oh my fucking god dude. Allen said laughing. He just hit a fucking civilian.

"WATCH OUT FOR THE CIVILIANS !! Foley said shaking his head.

"Poor Jimmy. He didn't even make it past his first birthday.

"What a dick. Ramirez said laughing.

"32 SECONDS !! Foley shouted.

"Yep, he's done for.

"Would you guys give him a fucking break ? Dunn said getting annoyed. Jesus.

"40 SECONDS !!! GET TO FINISH LINE !! CLOCKS TICKING !! 

"Well at least he made it.

"Yeah, in 40 seconds. 

"He still sucks. Ramirez said smiling as Allen and McCord both laughed.

"Can you knock that shit off ?

"Yes Sir. We said watching carefully as Montez made his way up the stairs.

"How'd I do Sir ? He said wiping the sweat from his forehead.

"Besides the death of an innocent civilian. You failed. Foley said eyeing him. You can try again next week.

"Yes Sir. Montez said looking at the group as they all laughed.

"Assholes.

"Hey don't look so sad man. Ramirez said smirking. Not everyone is cut out for the Marines.

"Yeah, Better luck next time farm boy. McCord said patting him on the shoulder.

"Hey Montez !! Allen shouted.

"What ?

"Try not to take off little Jimmy's head next time.

"Whatever. He said taking off towards the barracks.

Foley and Dunn just stood there watching Montez walk away. The rest of the group continued laughing until Foley started speaking.

"Are you guys done yet ?

"Sorry Sarge.

"Yeah, sorry Sarge.

"Good. Now about this mission. 

*Groans

"I'm sorry, did I interrupt something ?

"With all due respect. Why the fuck are we going on another mission when we just came back from Moscow a few days ago ?

"We're soldiers McCord. That's what soldiers do. Foley said staring at him. It's our duty to fight and protect our country. Hopefully we can all go home once this war is over and done with.

"So let me guess. Ramirez said joining them. General Shepherd's the one sending us ? Right ?

"Yep. Our orders all come from him.

"That's Bullshit.

"Sarge can't you just work something out with him ? At least tell him to give us a few days to rest up before we're back out on our feet again.

"You guys need to understand that General Shepherd is the one that makes the rules. I'm just your commanding officer. I have no say so when it comes to fighting the war. I just follow my orders and get shit done. I'd expect the same from my team.

"Hoorah. Allen said rolling his eyes.

"So does this mean that our passes are getting revoked ?

"I dunno Private. We'll just have to wait and see. Foley said handing Dunn the clipboard.

"Sorry to bother you Sir but we need some help over here.

"Shit. Dunn ?

"Sarge ?

"Fill them in on what we know while I help this Marine. He said walking towards the pit.

"Hoorah. Dunn said shaking his head. Anyways, Shepherds sending us on a mission to secure a guy named Raptor. That poor bastard was shot down near a Nate's restaurant in Virginia. He said pulling out a map. Our objective is bring him back safe and sound. Ivan's going to do whatever it takes to make sure he's dead. So we'll need to protect him at all costs.

"Why Virginia ?

"Because the Russians are starting an invasion there. Our friendly units will cover our exits from the West wing up until the South wing. Once those exits are cleared we can evac Raptor the Fuck out of there. Now are there any questions ?

"Damn Russians. Why couldn't they just pick another state to invade ? 

"I dunno. Maybe we'll ask them that when we get there.

"No shit.

"So what's the catch ?

"No catch. We just need to do our fucking jobs.

"Yes Sir. 

"Dunn ? Foley said walking back towards the group.

"Yes Sir.

"Get this paperwork processed. he said handing him a folder. I need to have them on Shepherds desk by tomorrow morning. 

"Sure thing Sarge.

"Now if you'll excuse me. I have some fresh meat to train. He said walking away.

"So when are we moving out ?

"Dunno. Hopefully soon. Dunn said marking the scores on the clipboard.

"Well I don't know about you guys but I'm going back to bed. Ramirez said yawning. Good night. Wake me up when it's time.

"Ok. Goodnight James. McCord said laughing. 

Ramirez just flipped him off before heading back towards the barracks.

"You wanna know something Dunn ? 

"No.

"I actually like our group. Everyone's pretty cool. We're a little bit naive most of the time but we're fun to be around.

"That sounds like a personal problem. 

"Well since we're talking about personal problems. McCord said unzipping his pants. You mind taking a look at this for me ? 

"WOAH MAN !! TAKE IT EASY. I DON'T WANNA SEE THAT SHIT !! Dunn said blocking his review with his hands.

"Dude your such a queer. McCord said laughing. I just wanted to show you this bum..

"I'll talk to you later private.

"Aw come on Jake. Just take a look at it. He begged. Please ? 

"Goodbye McCord. 

"BUT I THOUGHT YOU WERE A MEDIC !!! He yelled. 

McCord was trying so desperately to pop the pimple on his lower stomach but stopped when he had noticed that the other soldiers were staring at him.

"Eww looks like McCord got himself a Mc-bump.

"Shut up faggot. Your mama likes it. He said flipping them all off before taking off back towards the barracks with Allen.


End file.
